You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize