Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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