The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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