We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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