Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
