TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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