I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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