Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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