Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
