It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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