Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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