Can Purell be used as lube?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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