Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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