I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
