I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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