he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
