Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
