She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
