The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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