...so i touched it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
