Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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