I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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