Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.