i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
