She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
