youre lurking in front of me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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