Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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