i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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