Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize