We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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