Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
