she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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