it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
