I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
