I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
