I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
