do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
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Girls should come with a carfax report
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge