so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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