Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
