First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
