no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
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We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
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Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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