he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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