listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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