u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
