I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
