It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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