Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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