it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
