i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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