its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
