You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
