She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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