If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
