just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We left the knife in your bed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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