I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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