I'm jealous of your bromance
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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