id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize