Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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