I want to have your abortion
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize