I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
