this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
