ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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