She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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