I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
