turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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