Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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