On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am one with the molecules
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
