just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
