You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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