Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
