yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
